Santacon is coming to town!
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009What is Santacon?
SantaCon is for adults – where guys & girls of legal age dress up like Santa and go cavorting around town for no better reason than that it’s huge fun.
When and where is this happening?
December 12th, starting at 4pm
Starting point is McKibbins Irish Pub, 1426 Bishop street, then eating eatbound down St. Catherine.
What else do I need to know?
SANTA APPAREL IS MANDATORY. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. If you don’t have any money, be creative. If you don’t have any creativity,slap yourself three times and ask your mom to help you. Glue cotton balls to red long johns. Make it purple. Make it pink. Already have a Santa suit? Make a spare so Santa can assimilate strangers. Past examples: pimp Santa/Santa garcia/Santa’s naughty little helper/misfit toy/Hanukkah Harry/elf/reindeer. Traditional suits can be bought at party stores, Zellers, Walmart, Cdn Tire, Loblaws. Prices start around $25 and up.
Santa Claus is friendly, respectful, and cooperative with cops, security guards, bar staff, secret service and store owners and doesn’t break any laws!!! Our Santas do not destroy property, steal merchandise, forget to pay their bill or do harm to others.
Santa is responsible for his own inebriation. Watching Santa get drunk and obnoxious is fun. Babysitting Santa while they vomit in an alley is not.
Bring gifts — naughty gifts to give grown ups, nice stuff to give kids.
Pay your own damn bar tab and tip bartenders well for putting up with Santa.
Santa doesn’t seek media attention. “Ho-ho-ho” is good. “Publicity ho”, no so much.
The answer to important questions that may arise:
Who’s in charge? “Santa”
What organization are you with? “Santa”
What are you protesting? “Shitty holiday parties”
How did you get here? “A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer”
Where are you going? “I’m only allowed to tell you if you dress like Santa”
Basically it boils down to this:
THE FOUR F**KS OF SANTACON:
1. Don’t f**k with kids. This time of year sucks enough for them as it is, no need to make it worse.
2. Don’t f**k with cops. You are dressed exactly like me, so fucking with the cops may get me in trouble. Get me thrown in jail and I guarantee I will make sure you get cornholed.
3. Don’t f**k with security. They will call the cops. And you will get cornholed.
4. Don’t f**k with Santa. He will cornhole you in a heartbeat. (it’s okay to f**k Santa)
Facebook event
Santacon Main Page
HO HO HO!
(french translation coming soon)
